changing shapes

i stretch and fill, bend and shift into shapes unknown,

my form like water in upturned pots, left unattended in rain - i settle in among the dust and spiders, wet murky and teary.

on better days i sparkle in the sunlight and let a million colors fly but today, oh not today.

today my form is green, and i fall as mist into the bog water. 

my depth stretches beyond the crevices that light dies upon.

and i sit still. Still and hopeless.

i have been told not to whisper it out loud, but i have diabolical thoughts.

i wonder how it would be to light up this well of poisoned water and watch it vaporize. i wish to burn and become the winds again.

twist my form, let my breath go, scream like steam through a kettle. 

i want to stretch miles upon miles as innocuous humidity,

i could be the sudden heat of his room, the sweat on his brows or the wind that kisses it away. 

i have been told not to say it but

i have hopeless wishes. 

shameful wishes that i would never live through, not in this green, abandoned, dark form. 

i wish i could bend into that time worn bottle he carries. 

i wish i could twist myself up and around to the slim pretty little laminar spouts 

that catch his eye and keep him rooted to the spot to watch them move; friction-less and smooth. 

i watch them too, with my muddy green water swirling indignantly. 

they seem so coy, the water dancing from those spouts- shy and innocent, clear as the sky and leaping like ballerinas practiced in the art of enthralling their beholders. 

and every second his eyes run over their dance, the bog around me remains breathless to hear 

my churning waters. 

tomorrow, i might keep both feet on the ground and have my wits around. 

i hope tomorrow, i would be the falling water, 

the sudden jump of  a slowly speeding river to crush into the lap of earth. 

tomorrow i would be fierce and unstoppable, and i would know where i need to go,

i would keep moving. tomorrow, i wouldn't be puddle water thinking of being the wind upon his skin, 

i would be the swift force that would strike 

him down if he stands between me and my destination.